When I was in 10th grade, I stopped hanging out with a friend I often hung out with. Since he was my only 'hang out' friend, I had no friends to hangout with then. It was at that time I became addicted to pornography and it became an idol to me. I would masturbate and watch porn everyday. I was exposed to porn at age 11 I believe, so I have watched porn before I became addicted. I was depressed and lonely and part of it, I believe, was from the porn addiction.
Eventually I stopped watching porn and masturbating. However, I would go back to it multiple times after I said I would quit. I couldn't get set free. I was a slave to my sin.
Fast forward to my senior year in high school - the year this "pandemic" started: I enlisted into the US Navy and I signed a contract to ship off to boot camp on November 17th 2020. I also happened to ask my mom's husband for a bible and he gave me a KJV study bible. It was, sadly, a Ryrie study bible - for OSAS indoctrination, which I would stay away from now, as well as, any study bible.
I started to read the words of Jesus and was just attracted to his words. I liked some of his teachings. I was still unsaved so my understanding of the scriptures was much different then how it is now.
I remember looking up the unforgivable sin on YouTube and I started to get horrible thoughts in my head. I thought I may have committed the unforgivable sin. I was terrified! I realized I couldn't escape anymore. I couldn't hide in my sin - there was no hiding anymore. This lasted for days, but eventually went away.
I went back to my sin, but I happened to see a video on YouTube refuting OSAS. When I started seeing the verses there was an intense fear in me. Those verses clearly refuted OSAS, but I wanted to know the absolute truth - whether OSAS was true or false. Unfortunately, I spent hours on YouTube trying to figure out whether it was true or not, instead of just going to the bible. Praise God that he revealed that OSAS is a lie from the devil and is unbiblical. No matter how much they want to twist the scriptures, it is still a myth. You have to endure to the end to be saved.
I ended up getting saved around October- November. I cancelled my Navy contract. Now I am a new creation in Christ. I have been set free from all my sin addictions (Rom. 6:18; 6:20; 6:22; Jn. 8:34-36) and I live in the fear of God and faithful obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ. If anyone is struggling with pornography, know this: Jesus Christ can free you from your sin. You must go to him on his terms - not your own.
We are in the last days. Take Jesus seriously and obey him!! God bless you.
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