I am thrilled to be able to say that there is hope in Jesus Christ. I can truly say that the Gospel is just as powerful today as yesterday.
My life has been one of many other lives today, feelings of loneliness, alienation from others, feeling different from everyone else around me. I was adopted at 3 months old, raised in a fair environment, my mother saw that my brother and I were in church on Sundays, but my dad was not a Christian.
Early in my life I knew there was something quite different about me, now I look at my life and see that God made me to be unique, and not a freak. I thought that I was a little boy trapped in a girl's body,
for a time I was told that I actually thought I was a boy. This can be tragic in a kid's world.
My parents just called me their little tom-boy and let me do whatever I felt. I loved sports and radical games. I loved hunting, shooting guns, motorcycles, and anything competitive. Most of these activities would be OK in themselves, but being deeply rooted in my mind is that I was, and intended on being like the male gender -- in my actions, dress, hairstyles, and even how I interacted with the opposite sex. I even had crushes on girls my age and female teachers at school, but never did I say anything, that behavior was definitely not tolerated back then, thank the Lord.
One thing that I am very thankful for today, even though I was extremely attracted to the same-sex, I did not get wrapped up in a lot of relationships (sexually) with women, if it were this day and age I would have, no doubt.
I tried to live out my life normally, by getting married, I went through two marriages and divorces,
my sad attempt at the normal married life failed miserably. I had a bad history of drug abuse throughout my early teens into adulthood. I sought many activities to absorb myself into to find a place that I could belong -- dirt car racing, martial arts, work, etc.
It was a special day on May 18th, 1994, about a year after my brother had gotten saved (I had seen how that God had changed his life, being that he was a practicing homosexual, and that the Lord had done miracles in his life, giving him a wife, and three beautiful kids), I was ready to give up on everything, quit my job and give up on me. Then a girl I worked with spoke to me about the Lord and wanted to know if I wanted to pray with her, so I did. That was the beginning of a great healing in my life. After years of hating anything at all that had to do with the female gender, I now proudly have long hair (well longer, I'm working on it), and walk into church wearing nice dresses, and I am free.... It has not been the easiest thing to do for the roots were deep, but Jesus goes there. I believe that many people give up too soon, or their Gospel is too watered down, or weak to do anything about their situation seeing that even in my hometown people send the so-called hard cases to us (I guess it's hard to help a drunk when you believe in social drinking). God showed me in the Scriptures why we are bent toward inordinate relationships, just read Romans Ch.1.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my story and I'm sorry if it bothers some folks but I will not apologize for it. I will not settle for the excuse, "I cannot change, I can't help how God made me."
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