The Other Side of Adultery - Horrible Guilt

(A Very Special Email)

Bible Answer by Dan Corner

King David Sinned And Lost Salvation (pdf)

Living With The Horrible Guilt Of Adultery

[Bible Question about adultery] I'm seeking answers and listening for the word of God. I hope you can help me. I am a Christian woman who fell into the temptation of Satan five years ago, I fell in love with someone else, abandoned my husband of 25 years and entered into an adulterous relationship with a high school sweetheart.

Believe it or not, I actually convinced myself that God was leading me in this direction for my own happiness because I was so terribly depressed and unhappy. I can't believe how incredibly foolish I was.

Soon, I realized the terrible error of my ways, I repented and asked for forgiveness for my sin, both from God and my husband. But I still can't seem to forgive myself. I live everyday with the horrible guilt of what I have done. My husband says that he forgives me, but he doesn't want me back. He says he still loves me in Christ, but does not want to get back together as husband and wife; I can't blame him.

I know that according to the bible he could divorce me for the sins of adultery and abandonment, but he doesn't want to do it. And even though I was the one who left him, I don't really want a divorce either, but I just don't know what to do. I can't get back together with him because he doesn't want me anymore, I have no biblical basis for divorce so I can't divorce him without committing a further sin, and I can't move on with my life or develop a new relationship with someone else because I am still legally and morally married.

READ THIS: Guilty And Heartbroken Over Sexual Sin!

I am stuck in limbo ... so does that mean am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life as punishment for my sin? Can I ever hope to remarry? ...Am I supposed to resist the temptations of the flesh forever? (or is that a stupid question?) And how does this terrible mistake affect my eternal salvation? Am I truly forgiven, or am I really damned forever?

...I know God's law says "Thou shalt not commit adultery" and I know that in the old testament days, adulterers were stoned to death. I know that the wages of sin are death, but if Jesus came to save us from our sins, then whosoever shall truly believe in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. So, if I confess that I am a sinner, repent, ask Jesus to forgive me, and sin no more ... am I truly saved, or am I still damned forever for my sin?

I can't seem to figure this out or get any peace on these questions. Please help me understand God's word on this matter.

A Repentant Sinner

Bible Answer: Greetings in Jesus' name. We are very sorry and saddened by your letter. When the devil tempts people to sin, he never tells them of the pain and regret and sorrow that goes along with the sin. But then he is the enemy and we should not expect him to do such. You mentioned that your husband forgives you but will not take you back because of your adultery. The best thing for you to do is to seek God in prayer to change his heart. Yes it is possible to be forgiven for your adultery and him not to take you back. So that is not the issue here. The issue is him accepting you back, which obviously he does not have to do. Also ponder this: You stated you are single. That is unscriptural, since he is still alive. Also, if you continue to pray and show him that you have changed and sincerely want to come back and remain faithful, he may have a change of heart. If he doesn't, you are still bound to him under the law of marriage. See Rom. 7:1-3:

Do you not know, brothers -- for I am speaking to men who know the law -- that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
If your husband never decides to take you back, the following would apply to you:
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. (1 Cor 7:9,10)
... Again, adulterers can get forgiven as King David proves when he repented, but in the same breath, you must be reminded that David paid for his sin the rest of his natural life! The most important thing that you have is your soul. It is eternal. Don't risk going to hell by doing something unscriptural for sinful gratification. Remember the words of the Lord Jesus:
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? (Mark 8:36)
[Folks, Adultery results in spiritual death and great regret. DO NOT TAKE A CHANCE!]

Plan Of Salvation

Lust: Another Name For Adultery

Annihilation or Eternal Torment

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